You know what, I hate failure. Failure sucks. I keep hearing people say something like "embrace failure", "do not give up", "be persistent". But the cold hard truth is failure sucks.
The worst part is the uncertainty that lies ahead. There is no guarantee that I will get through it after. I can say I've tried, but life does not know me that well. Life does not hand me success on a silver platter, ya know.. (well, at least for me. I know some people always get what they want)
The experience is, nonetheless, very humbling. "The only thing that I know is I know nothing" (I've seen this quote before but I forgot from where). I know now (actually I already knew) that I can never go from zero to hero in a split second. Again, that probably just applies to me (I know some people can do it)
I just want for the future me to know if I finally made it at that time (big IF obviously), that I have gone through some shits before. That is all.